Me and my bad-a** parking sticker

So today was orientation for my new job.....ya know, I was gonna write this really long and amusing post about some other stuff too, but I got up at 5 AM today and I am no longer a fully functioning individual. So I'm gonna get straight to the point instead.

At the end of the day, I was realllllly excited about driving off the hospital campus, because today I received A) my parking sticker and B) my employee ID badge. And guess what. Employees. Park. Free. (Insert excessive celebratory dance here. Hey. It's the small things, am I right??) So when you drive off the main campus, the attendant looks for the little sticker on your windshield and then pushes the button that raises the long arm so you can drive through, releasing you into the world. That was SO gonna be me today. Except.

Except I decided to drive off the hospital campus going the BACK way instead. And apparently, the rules are a little different going the back way. I drove confidently to the gate and patiently waited while other people forked over their precious dollars to pay for parking. When it was my turn, I cruised triumphantly forward, anticipating the victorious raise of that long bar, just waiting for that delicious moment to happen. Look at me and my bad-a** parking sticker. And I waited........and waited. And nothing happened. Suddenly I heard shouting. I dumbly looked toward the attendant on my left, who was trying to get my attention. I unrolled my window and heard her say..."You HAVE. To SWIPE. Your BADGE." I rather intelligently responded with "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....where?" She points to a place somewhere behind me. Oh. For the love of crap. And of course, of COURSE, there is now a line of cars behind me, waiting for the dumb new girl to get out of the way. So I threw my car into park, slunk out of my seat, and shuffled the walk of shame to that space somewhere behind me where indeed, I was required to swipe my badge in order for that long bar to release me into the world.

In my case, that bar should have stayed down, down, down. I was clearly in no way ready to be released.